Tuesday, 12 May 2009

do what you love...fuck the rest...

I seem to be constantly reminded that the passage of time exponentially gets faster, which got me wondering about how we truly assess what were doing and subsequently is ones time been spent in a worthwhile manner. We seem to constantly question if what we do is good enough or could have been improved, or if it's 'defining', or a worthy part of the legacy we will, definitely leave behind. Alongside our inbuilt human instinct for heirarchical systems and criticism we have a plethora of new tools (yay) at our disposal to prove our 'undoubted' value or insignificance, facebook friend total, twitter followers, missed calls, being an episode ahead in 'lost', pounds saved v's pounds gained (in both weight and financially) ...it's all there to throttle yourself with...but you don't have to play along...no no no...so...

Don't ignore the questions of have i _ _ _ _ _ _ _  enough ?, try it, ask yourself the question, in fact take an afternoon off and do it...and don't worry if it initially seems as if your in a solo game of hangman asking questions to strangle yourself with...have i loved enough ?, am i giving enough ?, am i nice ?, does everyone think i'm an idiot ?...life is not as close to the tipping point as you think...the trick is just surfacing these things and seeing what floats.

For me it takes very little (nowadays) for the mirror to present itself and get me to stop and think and take stock, which is maybe one of the most useful things i've learned in years...to make sure that the 'bankruptcy of pure gain' (thanks rumi) doesn't take it's hold and what's left of my humility stays intact and that you don't have to better everyone or everything. It's simply healthy to be aware that these things exist and can open your eyes and your mind and your heart wider, a truly positive stake in the ground to refer too is as good as any, too know that it exists, to be aware.

Today the mirror was a simple conversation about how a monthly meeting hadn't actually happened for 6 months,yikes...6 months...in which time i hadn't spoken to the person who will most likely be the best man at my wedding (whom i promptly called and will see next week), i had only seen my dad once (whom i also called and will see in 2 days) and that i still hadn't paid my parking tickets. 

Slow down
In fact be slow on purpose
Think about the continuous present (thanks)
See the potential of pure potential
Local then global
Accept that fun is useful
There's no such thing as spare time...you have to create it

Look at yourself and answer it...it'll make you feel better.

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