dust...

15 years ago a walked into newcastle town centre crying and had a cup of tea with my friend jill...it was truly a surreal part of my life, i remember the spinning feeling that the world had been assaulting me with for the previous 10 years just dissipated, everything seemed hushed even though it kept on turning...when i got back to my house everyone didn't know what to do, i suggested we all go let off some steam, we'd spent so much time with each other waiting, waiting, waiting and when it happened we really had no place for ourselves...so we went out...out on our own hazy path, i ended up playing music here alongside him...at the end of the night sasha asked me if i was the guy that has cleared his floor...it's odd what you remember...i remember playing this...i woke up amid all my amazing friends sprawled out all over my house, usually that would be the point that my mum would have rounded everyone up and made tea for the wounded but not that morning.

15 years goes by so fast...some things feel like they just happened.

alison kate sankarayya, 15th october 1942 - 28th may 1994.x

i know that my mum would love the person i love.

awe inspiring japanese film wierdness

i'm a film novice...my music obsession doesn't filter into celluloid, so when i cite my favourite films as the airplane and the woman in red and grand canyon im not really pushing the boat out to be sure...but sometimes i come across things that blind me with their risk taking, this amazing piece of cinema (apparently a muse for Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange) relects the feeling of revolution in the behavior of japan's youth at that time...see some of it here...i'll tell you what i thought when i've watched it a couple of times...

oh...and that soundtrack.!!...makes me want to go listen to

this shit more...

stan kenton

self love...no not that kind...

so it seems that everyone is getting very excited about her of recent and especially today but as we know most things in life have been done better, harder, faster, funnier and most importantly without taking oneself too seriously...her quiet narcissistic demeanor makes me shiver...oh look she's so shocked of all this publicity...hmmm...personally i prefer limmy's old-but-still-good shots...

homo orgy

schoolboys

hitler

a fan club of 1...

whilst with my girlfriend buying some fruit on our surprisingly not too depressing detox i went to pay only to be looking at...Mr fruit face!!!...and i promise i didnt 'art direct' it at all...

hoxton knows how to roll in winter...check that, erm, detail...!

at college we allways loved the local tree surgeon called the 'top fella'...

i'm kind of obsessed with gorilla's and in particular getting dressed up as one, so much so i now own a monkey suit...( can i have my foot back paul)...i like it when silent things make noises...

(funny) ozzie graffiti humour...

drinks rules/leave me alone please...you're talking rubbish...(matt)

1. If you have a soft drink with ice, use a straw.

2. No spirits before 9pm (unless you've been up all night in which case you have to drink spirits but with straws and ice) 

3. When ordering a round of drinks allways order yours last and start to drink it last.

4. Never drink on planes.

5. Allways have a pint in the airport (regardless of your time of departure).

The end.

a scary prospect...

dont get me wrong im not a 'hater'...i shall explain later why i'm not a fan of the use of that word and allways advocate a careful use of the english language, but with technorati counting 112 million blogs (apparently not counting the chinese contingent of 80 million ) kanye ranks 10th in google under 'blog'...why am i scared/bemused...because he says things like this which the youth are obviously listening too...

A message from kwest on Vimeo.

i'm a fan of expressing oneself but it's kanye's birthday on the 8th next month, should he really be getting comedy haircuts like this...?...or does he think it actually it's a good bit of co-branding...

 

his ex missus certainly thinks he's compelling company...i don't understand...they seem so in love....

do what you love...fuck the rest...

I seem to be constantly reminded that the passage of time exponentially gets faster, which got me wondering about how we truly assess what were doing and subsequently is ones time been spent in a worthwhile manner. We seem to constantly question if what we do is good enough or could have been improved, or if it's 'defining', or a worthy part of the legacy we will, definitely leave behind. Alongside our inbuilt human instinct for heirarchical systems and criticism we have a plethora of new tools (yay) at our disposal to prove our 'undoubted' value or insignificance, facebook friend total, twitter followers, missed calls, being an episode ahead in 'lost', pounds saved v's pounds gained (in both weight and financially) ...it's all there to throttle yourself with...but you don't have to play along...no no no...so...

Don't ignore the questions of have i _ _ _ _ _ _ _  enough ?, try it, ask yourself the question, in fact take an afternoon off and do it...and don't worry if it initially seems as if your in a solo game of hangman asking questions to strangle yourself with...have i loved enough ?, am i giving enough ?, am i nice ?, does everyone think i'm an idiot ?...life is not as close to the tipping point as you think...the trick is just surfacing these things and seeing what floats.

For me it takes very little (nowadays) for the mirror to present itself and get me to stop and think and take stock, which is maybe one of the most useful things i've learned in years...to make sure that the 'bankruptcy of pure gain' (thanks rumi) doesn't take it's hold and what's left of my humility stays intact and that you don't have to better everyone or everything. It's simply healthy to be aware that these things exist and can open your eyes and your mind and your heart wider, a truly positive stake in the ground to refer too is as good as any, too know that it exists, to be aware.

Today the mirror was a simple conversation about how a monthly meeting hadn't actually happened for 6 months,yikes...6 months...in which time i hadn't spoken to the person who will most likely be the best man at my wedding (whom i promptly called and will see next week), i had only seen my dad once (whom i also called and will see in 2 days) and that i still hadn't paid my parking tickets. 

Slow down

In fact be slow on purpose

Think about the continuous present (thanks)

See the potential of pure potential

Local then global

Accept that fun is useful

There's no such thing as spare time...you have to create it

Look at yourself and answer it...it'll make you feel better.

hoxton fashion turns it up a notch...